From: Floyd Scarabelli
Category: Amis
Date: 8/16/99
Time: 1:00:19 PM
Remote Name: 129.219.247.97
FROM *LONDON FIELDS*: "What kept him going were his breakfasts---his hearty bowls of MegaBran. He could digest his MegaBran because (or so he often thought) the thick, dark, all-fiber cereal was precisely one stage away from human shit in the first place. MegaBran was on a chemical knife-edge between cereal and human shit. Guy wondered whether MegaBran shouldn't rename itself HumanShit: the lettering could be done wavily and mistily, to suggest an imminently dawning reality."
http://www.nabisco.com/museum/triscuit.html The name *Triscuit* presents a goofy irony. It's an obvious variation on the word *biscuit*. Which is what those things are called in England. But in America, those things aren't called *biscuits*. They're called *crackers*. Although Nabisco chooses to call them *wafers*. Well, call them what you want---they still taste like The Very Essence of Profound Granular Boredom. Triscuits are where whole-wheat and black holes synergistically conjoin to exponentially expand The Void. Triscuits are a snack-cracker black-hole of such cyclonic dullness that not even Wheat-Thins or Cheez-Its have ever managed to escape its ravaging vortex. Beware the Budweiser Budman with his cape & mask: this man is you. The Spaghetti-Os whine, whining for their Spaghetti-Os mummy. And then there is the Triscuit, which is nothing, and comes in a dated box to insure its freshness.