From: Brooklyn
Category: Amis
Date: 8/3/99
Time: 2:35:59 PM
Remote Name: 207.238.28.10
Great Carlin post Schizo-Scarabelli. The stupidity of the faithful never ceases to amaze me. If I thought there was even the remote chance that after death I could rise into the sky and end up reclining on the Champion Lazy-Boy of the World while sipping alcohol-free pina coladas and watching the Steelers win the Super Bowl in perpetuity, all the time enjoying the lip & tongue service of...But there's no frickin chance of that so why bother. Did you notice that financial whiz kid psycho killer fink from Atlanta Mark Barton wrote in his letters that Jehovah would forgive him? Jehovah? I'm assuming we're talking THE Jehovah. Why doesn't someone make a big deal out of that. Maybe if the guy didn't expect his wife, kids, and self to end up in "I'm smoking opium fantasy land" he wouldn't have been so quick to listen to the voices. Well, I don't think anyone believes that, but still, Jehovah? Fuckin freaks all over the place.
Fasten your seat belts everyone, here's a little glimpse into my life. There's a used book store near my pad: Last Exit Books, motto: Brooklyn's Only Fine Used Bookshop. If you ever find yourself in my neighborhood: you're lost. The proprietor is a curmudgeonly fella who can turn the most innocent conversation into an argument. So the other day he moves in from behind, bumps me as he bends over, and comes up with the book *The Collector's Collector*, I explained that the book I'm looking for is *The Thought Gang*. Then I asked if he had read *London Fields*, he said he had, adding "but Martin Amis isn't even in the same league as his father." Taking the bait I explained that Kingsley Amis sucked. He (rightly) questioned whether I had even read Kingsley. Of course I had (I named the four books I had actually heard of by kingman, claiming to have read all). The conversation only degenerated from there, with the guy telling me I was "...all out of proportion with Martin." I reminded him that not only had he started it, but that staking part of his claim on a James Bond job was very shaky ground.
I'm pretty tired. What with *Talk* magazine hitting the newsstands today who could sleep. Seems Mart gives Thomas Harris the high hard one in the premier issue. That's fitting since he gave Tina Brown the high hard one too, although I don't think that's in the rag. I have a difficult time putting into words my irritation with Ms Brown, but I think it has to do with her being called a "Celebrity Editor". Drew Barrymore is a Celebrity Editor when she takes over the helm of *Coonhound* for an issue, but Ms. Brown is the "actual" editor. A professional editor even. So since when this celebrity status? I bet it just happened one day when she was hobnobbing in the Hamptons & some schmuck from the ultra pretentious New York Observer decided it was time.
Lastly, I just polled 15 people in my office. Nobody's heard of Tina Brown.